Friday, March 16, 2018

Token

When there is a painful, hurting, or crisis situation do we say "if there is anything I can do let me know."
Although this sounds helpful, this may just be token love care and an attempt to reach out.
This comment is taking responsibility off of us and placing it back on the person that is having the crisis. Instead of me thinking of helpful ways of serving, loving, and caring it is saying you in the midst of everything else going on come up with a way I can help you. Usually what is suggested is going to be very different than what we want to do. It is usually tangible and it is beyond token but an actual way to meet a real need.
The idea of going the extra mile is needed but takes much more work than what we are willing to do. Are we willing to serve on others terms or our own? We use phrases like we don't want to enable, for people to become dependent, or use us.
Why is it so easy for life to come back to us? How difficult is this going to be for me and how much am I really willing to give?
What if the mindset changed to I am willing to give until it is no longer a token gesture but a real expression of meeting the need until the crisis is over?
What if that means the rest of their or our lives? With disability, divorce, death of a spouse, unemployment, or any number of issues many don't go away quickly if ever.
But I want to keep my life the way it is. That is the biggest struggle we have to face and overcome if we want to love beyond token
 It is going to cost money, time, emotional energy and it may hurt. But the outcomes can be amazing not just to the person we are giving to but us as well.
We find that our own selfish thoughts, feelings, and attitudes stunt our own growth.
When a fire destroys a company we can say if there is anything you need let us know or you can say we will find a way to pay your employees salaries for a month. These are the kind of situations that take some burdens off of the stressful situations. Yes it takes sacrifice on others but it goes beyond token into a realm of real help.