As Jill and I nursed our aches, pains,and blisters while we waited for the ibuprofen kicked in we asked each other what changed? Last night as we layed on our couch not being able to move, we asked what changed in our lives to think taking Kyle and Ayden on a 12 mile canoe trip was a good idea? What changed in our thinking to go from survival mode to actively engaging Kyle in life?
Being tired is a part of parenting and even more so with parenting a special needs parent, but is that an excuse? For me it was quite a bit, it was very easy to see Kyle and what he couldn't do not what we could do. It was easy to see and think about all the work that would go into any activity outside of the house. It was easy to come up with reasons and excuses why we couldn't do something.
One of the dangers of special needs parents, is it is easy to fall into this mindset and not get out of it. We fell into the mindset but we were pulled out of this by the people around us.
We have been on the recieving end of gifts and giving all summer. While the physical help has been such a huge help, and the effects will be long lasting. The emotional support and investment will also have positive implications on our family.
Being pushed is not something we always relish, we don't like it when people question the way we do things, or offer us a different path.
As I try to answer the question of what changed for us this summer, the answer lies around the answer of people challenging us in many different ways. I was personally challanged about going to Joni and Friends Camp. The rest of our family bought in, but I was so skeptical. It took two or three people to persist in getting us there.
We have been pushed by seeing and observing others. We weren't challenged by words from families we encountered at Joni and friends but just by observing their lives. Paul Summer has also inspired us in the way we look at adventure, fitness, and physical life style. He has never said a word but by his lifestyle and his determination and committment to physical fitness it has pushed our unhealthy lifestyle in a different direction.
Kyle and I run almost every night with a jogger stoller. It is not only a great physical workout for me (I am down 15 pounds) but a time Kyle enjoys each night getting out of the house. It was Paul's inspiration that started us with this habit.
Being a special needs family has a feeling of ackwardness when it comes to social situations, I have many times opted out of doing something due to the stress and the physical toll that comes with it. We as a family have begun to embrace these more and we have seen others respond positively it has been such an encouragement to us. We have friends that have bent over backwards for us, and even though their house isn't Kyle friendly they have made it such a joy and pleasure to spend time with them that it eases the physical toll. They don't take no for an answer.(Thank you Zenon and Monique).
Although ramps, and house changes will effect us for quite some time, the relationships, and the challenges that have come from those have also pushed us in ways that will effect us positively for the rest of our lives.
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