Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Expectations in Life

I don't know if I had a picture in my mind of what life would look like in my mid 30s. I don't exactly know what I expected, hoped for, or even viewed as what my life would look like. So I really can't say I am disappointed, overjoyed, content, underachieved, or even overachieved by reality.

Over the past few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking of expectations that we put on life. The ideals that crop into our heads and then how do we deal with them when expectations aren't met.

When fairy tales mix with reality where does it leave us? The view of what life is suppose to look like may be unrealistic. The view that everything will be ideal and problems will be at a minimum is probably not likely.

Yet this is the world most of us live in, we live a life that does not meet what we had expected.

The question is now what? If this is reality what do I do?

Is being addicted to alcohol, any type of drug, porn, having an affair the issue or is it a symptom of escape?

Are these rampant issues in our society the issues or does it stem back to the issue of what did I expect?

Where do we go, and what do we do when we realize our life isn't going to be the perfect children, in the perfect town in the perfect neighborhood with the perfect marriage? Sometimes I believe we see those around as the ideal and we don't measure up to it.

It happens in our social circles and it also happens in the church setting. We see others and we don't want what they have but we want the ideal that we have built into our minds. We want the perfect which in reality isn't realistic.

As the phrase first world problems becomes a common saying I see the issues that we deal with in our culture aren't any better or worse than other places. They are different but they are issues just the same. We may not have to fight for survival, food, disease, but the inner fight of contentment, happiness, and peace are some of our issues.

The inner pain that I see many around me struggle with is real and deep. The unfortunate thing is that the ways we self medicate leads to deeper hurt to those around us.

I am not sure how exactly to solve the issue, but I do realize that the amount of time and space we allow others to voice this is extremely important. I realize that we can build and reinforce unrealistic expectations by the way we talk and act. I believe that that we can do more harm than good by not being realistic. I believe that in the Christian culture we can create a God who can be the answer to make our lives mirror the unrealistic lives that we think we see.

In the end are we content with what we have been given? Are we content with the non-perfect children in the non-perfect marriage, in the non-perfect house, in the non-perfect neighborhood?

Contentment is a daily choice and in reality has so little to do with our circumstances.


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