Serving is a two way street

"So do you get paid for this?" The inmate asked me after a class I taught. I said no, no I don't paid to come in here and teach. He was a little puzzled and then asked "So are you rich?" I laughed and said look at my clothes "do I look rich?" He thought that was very funny and then ask why do you this?

I don't remember what my answer was at the time. But this is something I have thought a lot about over the past few years. If money isn't the motivating factor why?

Why do people go out of there way to volunteer, to serve and help people different than themselves? I say different than themselves because if I have the mentality that I help people who are needy I miss much of why I am serving.

I may have answered the inmate a few years ago the reason I come in and teach is to help. But that is very minimal. I may have helped teach a few new concepts, I may have said a few things that are helpful. But in all of my time spent teaching those in prison, I have learned much more than I have ever taught.

I feel the same way with Kyle, if I continually have the mentality that I am only helping him I miss out on so much. This past week Ayden and Ellyse went to camp and Kyle spent two full days with Jill and I.

Kyle's perspective is so much different than mine. Recently we were at a restaraunt and a waitress came up and said "I see you are short of silverware let me get you some more. " The only words Kyle heard were I see you are short. He was very offended and upset complaining "she called me short." I didn't realize that he was so self conscious about his height in his wheel chair.

When I am in the constant mode of helping and doing things for Kyle, I don't allow him to express himself or even be a blessing to others. While in the swimming pool at the hotel we stayed at Kyle met a friend from Canada named Wade. They hit it off and we found out Wade was about Kyle's age and had autism. We saw them multiple times and every time Kyle and Wade greeted each other as friends.

As much I as I feel that I give when I serve and give, I recieve so much more in return. One of the things I have been recieving from Kyle of late is his sense of humor. He makes me laugh so much, sometimes on purpose and sometimes just through the way he views life.

We were driving through Michigan on our way home and at many exits there are signs for car pools. I am not sure where all these people are car pooling to, but at one of the exits I commented on the sign. Kyle immediately was intrigued. He said I want to go to the car pool. I knew exactly what he was thinking. I started laughing so hard.

My thinking about serving, volunteering, and being with others different than changed. I see it not from ego centric view of solving someones problem, but rather both mutually teaching each other.