Monday, October 28, 2013

The social norm

As we prepared for our trip to Disney world last year, Jill contacted them about housing. It was interesting the response she got. There was only a few options for a family of 5. Disney world is built for the ideal family of four. This is their norm, this is who they are marketing towards. The ideal family, the social norm.
On Saturday Jill and I went to a marriage seminar, there was 500 or so people in the room. It was good content but 6 hours tends to make my head spin so I began looking around the room and my mind began wondering. I was looking for the couple that didn't fit in, what was the norm of this group and who probably felt like the outsider? As I started taking in the crowd, it was diverse in age. There were people of all ages, there were even a few minorities. But then I started to look for what was missing. I didn't see any handicapped people, all of us were dressed basically the same. It was a very typical social norm for evangelical Christianity.
Last night as a family went to a Halloween event with some friends of ours. It was in a different area of the community than we live so my curiousity was peaked again of what type of people would come to it. It didn't disappoint, there were all the typical Halloween get up, and then there were some people (mainly adults) that I had to wonder if they were wearing a costume or not. If those were fake teeth or their real teeth? That culture was very comfortable. But that group would not have been so comfortable in a marriage seminar with 500 "socially normal" people.
I have been struggling with this for some time, the culture that we build around ourselves consciously or sub consciously. The things that we take for granted as a value everyone holds around us, the people that we allow to speak into our lives that basically just reaffirm everything we believe.
As I continue to get older, I realize that I can hear the same answers and hear the same information reiterated over and over again. I can become pretty stagnant in my thinking because of the people I spend time with.
I recently heard from a friend in the field of American missions that only 2% of the American church knows the poor. I am sure the stats are skewed, but what does that say about us following Jesus' example? When Jesus came into this world it wasn't the "social norm" that he was looking to engage or even affirm. It was those on the fringes, those who were not so well thought of or even well liked. The Pharisees and the religious leaders did a good job on upholding and maintain the social norm. They did a great job of both defining and living by the norm. Yet that wasn't so much what Jesus was trying to get us all to.
I am curious what it actually looks like to live by faith. It is easy for me to ask other people who are older or people that are very Biblical literate for an answer. I am sure I will get a very good answer, and I am sure I will get answer that is very theoretical. But what if I ask a single mom who struggles with addiction, who is trying to make ends meet. Who has had a rough past but is trying to live a life of faith. What is her answer going to be? Is there going to be value in her answer? Better yet am I going to value her answer?
As I have thought about my time teaching in prison, I am confident I have been of zero help to the men in there. I have given them great theory, I have given them even some good common sense. But practically speaking they have taught me so much more than I could ever have learned. It has been the best way for me to learn about a different culture, people, and circumstances. It has opened my eyes to the world from another viewpoint. The question is does this affect the way I live my life? Do I value what men who have committed atrocious acts say? Or am I so arrogant that I don't feel that I have anything to learn from them?
Jill has told me so often that people don't see Kyle they see a wheelchair, very infrequently do I see people engage in conversation with Kyle. Why is it because there is no value of what he would have to say? Do people think it is only a one way street where they can encourage him but he couldn't be an encouragement to anyone else? Again I have learned and seen tons more Kyle than the little value I pour into his life. He complains less than anyone I know, and yet he has the most to complain about. He treasures and enjoys life to a great extent. He is simple yet profound, but yet very few have seen or experienced this both from him or the many other handicapped in the world.
Jesus came to live (incarnation) among people. He lived within the margins of society. He enjoyed, communicated, recruited, and loved those that most of us pass by on a daily basis. Where do I miss the chances, and the opportunities to be blessed, learn, and grow from those that don't fall into the social norms?

1 comment:

  1. You are onto something. I would also add that the Average Christian Life is very, very different than the Normal Christian Life. We too quickly settle for the Average, and the norm we also settle for is far different than the normal Christian life the scriptures encourage us to pursue.

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