Engineering a moment

I saw the question on facebook last night which is the biggest the fraud the Grammies, the pro bowl or wwe wrestling? All that were on tv last night.
As much as each of these expressions of entertainment try to create moments, some successed and some fail. I personally watched the Grammies and I thought there were some great moments but I am not sure those are the kind of moments that have a lasting personal impact on most of us.

Can we tell when a moment (a permanent snapshot of time) happens in life? Can we anticipate, create, or even manipulate one of these to take place? We love stories of moments, especially when they have happy endings. But in our own lives do we notice when these moments are taking place?

I think we miss out on moments quite a bit because of our agendas, plans, frustrations, goals, and own ideals. I have missed many special times in life because I was frustrated about really dumb stuff. I have sacrificed for things that have absolutely no long term value.
In Corinthians it talks about Love and one of the things it says is If I do not have love I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. It is very easy for me to be so me focused that I miss out on love and become that proverbial clanging cymbals.

In my own experience when I am not so focused on me and more on a sacrificial love I see moments in life occur.

In a strange turns of events yesterday I told two men I loved them. I am not a touchy feely person by any stretch of the imagination. I don't enjoy that (like most men) and feel weird when that kind of emotion swells up.

The first experience was of a friend who was leaving to pursue different interests. It was sad but joy for him as he moves on. He was a friend who we didn't always see eye to eye but someone I have great respect for. We had been through the proverbial fire together and had grown together through that. At the end of our time together my son who was with me asked if I was crying. I had a tear or two come but nothing major, but I wasn't going to admit it to Ayden. This had been a planned moment. And not really a life defining or even in the big scheme of life important moment.

As the day went on yesterday, I did a number of other tasks and in the middle of the afternoon I received a text from one of my neighbors to come and visit him. My wife wasn't thrilled because I had been gone all day and to be honest I was tired and ready for a nap. But he doesn't usually ask me to come over unless it is important and I sensed that it was so I went.

When I went to his door his wife greeted me and my neighbor was no where in sight. I thought this was strange because he knew I was coming and he always greets me. His wife explained he was in the bedroom and wanted to see me in there. Again strange.

Usually in life we don't allow others to see us in vulnerable positions, we don't want people to us in these situations.

As I went into the bedroom there was my neighbor laying in bed not feeling well at all. He told me he went to the doctors on Friday for a possible herniated disc in his back. The tests and mri led to a different conclusion he had cancer.

The doctors had an idea of what it was and they had told him it was treatable but not cure able. I was in shock, in total surprise. My neighbor is in his mid 40s, we spend a ton of time together. We both have a love for baseball, God, and had many other common interests.

We spent about 15 minutes together after my initial shock I realized that this was a moment. It wasn't engineered, planned, rather this was a raw emotional response. There is a few things that will stick with me as we sat crying on his bed with his dog sitting there with us. He said "Ben we have talked about heaven many times, I may experience it quicker than I would have thought."

We held hand and prayed together. I was shaken. I am not sure what the future holds, but that moment was a time where a man fears for his life, and was scared of the journey.

We embraced and told each other we loved each other, and I left crying and I wasn't going to control it.

The moments of life we remember mostly are not engineered, planned, or even desired. They are the moments were raw emotion supersedes everything. We can't control the response.

These moments come at the most inopportune times,  they come at times where we have a choice to do our tasks, live our lives, or put it on hold and be with those who need us.

This friendship doesn't just stop at this moment, rather it continues a journey of us walking together.

I didn't think these would be the moments I would experience in my late 30s, but I don't think we pick and choose what happens to us.

It is easy to assign clichés and simple answers to life issues, but sometimes the thing that is needed from us is just show up and live the moments with others.