Too much for one person

Maybe for a better man it can be done by one person, but for me it is going to be a team effort.
Since the middle of July I have run almost every night. I had every intentions of starting in March, then in April, May quickly passed, June we were busy, and then finally July became the deadline. Last year I had prepared to run the Popcorn race and my neighbor accompanied me many nights as we ran our neighborhood. I should never have stopped, but running alone did nothing for me, and I had accomplished my goal to run the 5 mile race in under 50 minutes. I had run in 48 something, not fast by any stretch of the imagination but I had finished what I set out to accomplish.
This year I thought I could do the same, and I probably can.
But Kyle wanted to run it and be pushed through the race. So after securing a running stroller him and I have ran quite a few time through the 1.4 miles of safe neighborhood roads. 1.4 miles is not the same as 5 miles.
Last weekend I ran the popcorn race course by myself and realized this is too much of a stretch for me to run this with Kyle. I may finish by myself but pushing 150 pounds up a couple of pretty big hills (Indiana style) would not end pleasantly. We may finish but it would be well behind the other competitors and be pretty rough.
What has emerged as a much better experience is for a group of people pushing Kyle for a mile (or less each). Who would want to do that? Who would want to take on a physical burden that I wish I could do myself? It was actually much easier to find these people than I thought.
This idea of running with Kyle could be a metaphor for the way we view life with a special needs child. I wish I could do more, I wish I didn't have to ask for help. But realistically I need people around more than I would readily admit or even want.
I am sure there are many other more strong and determined people who could run 5 miles pushing a young man in a stroller, it isn't me. Yet. I wish I not only had the physical strength but also the emotional strength to deal with everything on a daily basis.
The gratitude that I have for those who are running and pushing with us on the day of the race is great but it is just a small glimpse into the community of people that surrounds us and gives us tangible help on a daily basis.
Of course our faith is such a huge part of our lives, and something that brings us strength on a daily basis. Right behind that is the strength of a community of friends and family.
Pride and the thought of being strong enough to do this on our own is being thrown out the window. Yes there are a lot of things that we will deal with on our own and we never want to become dependent on others for our needs, but an idea of being part of a community of people who love, care, and are interdependent is what we are seeing happen.
This race is just one small aspect into what it has been like for us to have others on this journey with us.
Maybe next year I will be able to run with Kyle alone and maybe even do a half marathon with him, but right now running with a team of people is needed because it is too much for this person.