Friday, October 28, 2011

Not enough cool whip containers

Cool whip containers, why would one keep them? Sure they make a great alternative to tupperware, but how many is too many? Is there a possibility that there wouldn't be some at the store next time we visited?

When my grandparents went into a nursing home, there were hundreds of cool whip containers found at their house. Knowing that they grew up through the great depression and having an appriciation for saving money and resources it isn't too difficult to see the desire and the need to save items like cool whip containers.

It is easy to observe and see the characteristics of a hoarder in the term of physical items, and it is even easy to understand the mentality of why people would hoard if the worry was not having enough.

What about the other aspects of life that people hoard or worry there isn't going to be enough? I think about this alot with people with terminal diagnosis'.

What if there isn't enough time with my loved one? Does this knowledge give freedom or paralysis? Does it help me value each day or does it weigh me down to the point of living each day in dread?

The same is true with the emotional aspect, if I give myself fully to being emotionally attached am I going to have enough emotional energy for tomorrow? Am I going to be hurt, disappointed, and empty at the end of the day or life of my child?

Worry, the unknown, fear, disspointment, unfullied expectations, drive many of us to do a lot of destructive things in our lives. I can only imagine this being part of why the divorce rate of parents of special need children is somewhere around 80%.

The engagement factor is such a struggle for fathers of special needs children. It may not be intentional, it may be not knowing how or what but many are very disengaged. I find it easy to drift into this area without being intentional.

It is easy to diagnose a hoarder of stuff, it is much more difficult to see those who hoard their emotions.

Each day it is a choice not to hoard my emotions.

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